it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
