"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
