I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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