We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
