so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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