2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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