Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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