I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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