there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
