It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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