It's a beautiful day for a hangover
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
