i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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