morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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