The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
