So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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