A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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