I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
