New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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