Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
