His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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