Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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