marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
