What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
