I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
