Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
