I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just found puke in my bra..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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