oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
