My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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