I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
