I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
