I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
