i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
