Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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