no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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