She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
