Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
