I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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