Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
