Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
