Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize
