This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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