She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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