If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
