Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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