Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
