Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
