Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
