So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
