I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't deserve a penis
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just want to make out with him forever
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
