420 ftw
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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