can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
