He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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